• Week 9 • Rhyming Couplets •
Couplets to The Five Senses
Jasmine’s heavy tendrils leak perfume redolent of dawn,
a vowel amongst late February consonants of lavender and lawn.
…………..
The deliquescent blues of lobelia make
recollections flurry and my optic nerves ache.
…………..
Curling into the lap of my tongue, flavours interrupt speech
to murmur new dimensions of saffron, plum, guava and peach.
…………..
The bliss is sudden, certain as gold beneath my feet,
at the boundary where the road and the dandelions meet.
…………..
In the desperate fiddling of crickets, the drawbridge to sleep is drowned;
when it ceases, my ears paint the night with the memory of the sound.
4 comments on “• Week 9 • Rhyming Couplets •”
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“my ears paint the night with the memory of the sound” I love this line. Great way to close out the poem. Actually the entire last stanza is awesome. Keep up the great poeming 🙂
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These are great – are you thinking they go together? They compliment one another well, but don’t lock in and link exactly. I particularly like the last one. There, for me, the rhyme takes a surprise turn, which is when rhyme works the best, do you think?
They do go together in that they are the observations made on a single day in summer, but at the same time I wanted them to be able to ‘cope on their own’, so to speak.
I found these very hard this week, surprisingly. Perhaps because of their simplicity – a bit like a haiku – you have to think pared back but say enough without it sounding too much like a ‘roses are red, violets are blue’ special!!
Agree with the rhyme surprise – these are best constructed at 3am 😉
Yep, I think they work both ways, (together and alone) and I can see how making it simple is actually the most complex part, well done! I know how these things do tend to come together at inconvenient times, I for one works best at 3pm!